Gosh, I've been dumped! Okay so we weren't really together although thats what he wants to tell people... that we were together for 5 months and broke up. stupid man. Gosh I hope he regrets it... misses me and hates himself (at least a tiny bit!)
I've never been dumped before. Both my brother and a couple of friends just said; sure its sad, but 1. his loss. 2.he'll regret it 3. it was your turn to be dumped.
Well what is a girl to do?
I'm on day no.4 since the break up. Hardest thing to do was spend the night. But I did it! 3 days since we last spoke and I have a standing appointment to come pick up my things in about a week and a half.... I don't think I'll be ready!
I also realized some thing else... I need to stop having flings with my brothers friends or people that run in the same circles as him... god x bf r he hangs around all of a sudden. so annoying seeing his stupid face everywhere I turn. and now this.... He asked me if I would avoid him, I said no, but you never hang out with him out and about... you hang out with him here at your house. He said, sure you're right... but if we do bump into each other? I said; sure we can chat or what not, but how likely is it? Thankfully.
So I'm starting over... lol again.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Fight Club
Right now I'm taking a lit course, and we've just finished Fight Club. I must say I enjoyed the book. It was fresh, vivid and my only regret is not reading it before I saw the movie countless times before reading the book. Beautiful hindsight...
The most interesting element is the 'crisis of masculinity'.... men beating the crap out of one another, because they feel empty, unfulfilled and hollow. Life has become a trite ritual, where you get up in the morning, go to work, come home, sit your ass down and read an ikea catalog... and plan the perfect home. LOl funny thing about this part of the book I guess is, if your gonna plan your life by planing the interior of your home... i.e. if that is the important and significant, joyful part of life; why the fuck to you go to Ikea? Ikea has some great stuff. Its cheap, simple and convenient but have you ever tried to move with cheap, affordable ikea furniture? they fall to pieces after a while. or maybe I've just been careless? When I have moved with my Billy-bookshelf's etc?
Back to the crisis. So the narrator feels that they are a generation of men raised by women... a class mate of mine had a genius epiphany when we discussed this; in the book men = nature and women = society. while most often the view people have on this; i.e. if we break the genders down and look at what they represent; women=nature, they give birth, they raise kids, they keep house, gardens, they nurse, the take care of people etc. while men=society; they go to work, they design, they plan, they build society.
Why are the men in the 'fight club' a generation raised by women? I guess if we look at the historical progress of women; i.e. what type of characteristic the womans sphere has contained through the ages. In earlier times; pre- industrial revolution, women raised the girls and men raised the boys. They had to teach their kids certain traits and skills. This was important for the children as they would grow up and become adults and husbands, fathers, wifes and mothers someday.
Of course this rant can go on forever, and it feels weired to write about all of this with out using citations, LOL thats how indoctrinated I am. I can't write about this without feeling the need to pick up a book and look for a source.
back to fight club, it is quite an interesting read, I like the way the author manages to balance what the narrator thinks, what he does and what he says. And how Tyler is everything the narrator wants to be. Tyler has shed all does courtesies society asks of us. He doesn't have to follow the norm, he can do whatever he wants to. I know some people like that, not in the sense of being crazy and want to blow up every credit-card company and economic centers so that society will have to re-boot itself ;) but they have made their own fortunes and carved out their own paths. They haven't done anything that was expected of them, they haven't found comfort in a 9-5 job, a house with a picket fence and a nice secure car. They have worked their asses of for a year at a time and then taken of to travel the world, or to go to china for 6 months,or picked up and moved to another country because it sounded exiting.
I must admit I admire them, mostly because I wouldn't have the guts to do it. I like my little comforts.
The most interesting element is the 'crisis of masculinity'.... men beating the crap out of one another, because they feel empty, unfulfilled and hollow. Life has become a trite ritual, where you get up in the morning, go to work, come home, sit your ass down and read an ikea catalog... and plan the perfect home. LOl funny thing about this part of the book I guess is, if your gonna plan your life by planing the interior of your home... i.e. if that is the important and significant, joyful part of life; why the fuck to you go to Ikea? Ikea has some great stuff. Its cheap, simple and convenient but have you ever tried to move with cheap, affordable ikea furniture? they fall to pieces after a while. or maybe I've just been careless? When I have moved with my Billy-bookshelf's etc?
Back to the crisis. So the narrator feels that they are a generation of men raised by women... a class mate of mine had a genius epiphany when we discussed this; in the book men = nature and women = society. while most often the view people have on this; i.e. if we break the genders down and look at what they represent; women=nature, they give birth, they raise kids, they keep house, gardens, they nurse, the take care of people etc. while men=society; they go to work, they design, they plan, they build society.
Why are the men in the 'fight club' a generation raised by women? I guess if we look at the historical progress of women; i.e. what type of characteristic the womans sphere has contained through the ages. In earlier times; pre- industrial revolution, women raised the girls and men raised the boys. They had to teach their kids certain traits and skills. This was important for the children as they would grow up and become adults and husbands, fathers, wifes and mothers someday.
Of course this rant can go on forever, and it feels weired to write about all of this with out using citations, LOL thats how indoctrinated I am. I can't write about this without feeling the need to pick up a book and look for a source.
back to fight club, it is quite an interesting read, I like the way the author manages to balance what the narrator thinks, what he does and what he says. And how Tyler is everything the narrator wants to be. Tyler has shed all does courtesies society asks of us. He doesn't have to follow the norm, he can do whatever he wants to. I know some people like that, not in the sense of being crazy and want to blow up every credit-card company and economic centers so that society will have to re-boot itself ;) but they have made their own fortunes and carved out their own paths. They haven't done anything that was expected of them, they haven't found comfort in a 9-5 job, a house with a picket fence and a nice secure car. They have worked their asses of for a year at a time and then taken of to travel the world, or to go to china for 6 months,or picked up and moved to another country because it sounded exiting.
I must admit I admire them, mostly because I wouldn't have the guts to do it. I like my little comforts.
Friday, March 27, 2009
whats that grandma?
so, I'm not so skeptical anymore, I calmed down and everything has been fine.
Meeting parents are scary.... especially when you've been told that you will not meet THE family and WOOPS, before you know it you are sitting in someones livingroom having a chat.
Heck that was two weeks ago and I kinda doubt I'll ever meet his mom again, gosh, the day after I met the mom I met the big-brother as well... They seem like nice ppl though, good for him.
I really don't have anything to write about, ever since I slowed down the partying, Not much is happening. I got my act together and now the title of this blog seems a bit of... I'm no longer the hopelessly shit faced ballerina.... I'm just the ballerina who falls flat on her face once or twice a day and makes an ass of herself. So I'm still kinda shit faced ;)
C'est La Vie
Meeting parents are scary.... especially when you've been told that you will not meet THE family and WOOPS, before you know it you are sitting in someones livingroom having a chat.
Heck that was two weeks ago and I kinda doubt I'll ever meet his mom again, gosh, the day after I met the mom I met the big-brother as well... They seem like nice ppl though, good for him.
I really don't have anything to write about, ever since I slowed down the partying, Not much is happening. I got my act together and now the title of this blog seems a bit of... I'm no longer the hopelessly shit faced ballerina.... I'm just the ballerina who falls flat on her face once or twice a day and makes an ass of herself. So I'm still kinda shit faced ;)
C'est La Vie
Friday, March 13, 2009
what the fuck is happening?
so lets talk about guys, lets do that. I think that this is one of the subjects one can never tire of. Why are some of them so dysfunctional? If I say something I mean it (like 9 out of 10 times, worst case scenario 8 out of 10) and yes, I'm talking about heavy duty shit here.
So If I agree on something with someone, then I tend to think that thats the way its gonna be/ or is, but NO I'm apparently mistaken. If we agree on something then it changes in a week or two, how on earth is one spoused to keep up with that. I'm a woman of my word, a deal is a deal... there really is no way around it. it is what it is.
right now I'm a lost, gloomy and skeptical puppy, walking around with my head down, but with wandering eyes looking for signs of shit and betrayal... and I really need to rectify this situation!
so I'm gonna go do that right now! It's my turn to come leaping out of someones left field and catch someone with their pants down.
So If I agree on something with someone, then I tend to think that thats the way its gonna be/ or is, but NO I'm apparently mistaken. If we agree on something then it changes in a week or two, how on earth is one spoused to keep up with that. I'm a woman of my word, a deal is a deal... there really is no way around it. it is what it is.
right now I'm a lost, gloomy and skeptical puppy, walking around with my head down, but with wandering eyes looking for signs of shit and betrayal... and I really need to rectify this situation!
so I'm gonna go do that right now! It's my turn to come leaping out of someones left field and catch someone with their pants down.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
put Your life On Shuffel.... JEpp another one!
Put your music player on shuffle..use the song titles as your answers.
-
What should they have played when you were born?:
The Life and Death of Mr.Badmouth [PJ Harvey]
What song will people play at your funeral?:
Why should I be Sad [britney Spears]
What song will you play at your wedding?:
Just Flesh [Turbonegro]
What song will you play at your 50'th birthday party?:
Wake Up Exhausted [Teigan and Sara]
-
If you get your dream life...
What song will you dance to when you win the lottery?:
Yule Shoot Out Your Eyes [fall Out Boy]
What song will you play when you get your dream job?:
Tonight [Tv on the Radio]
What song will you play when you discover your own island?:
Somebody gotta do it [The roots]
What song will you play when you rule the world?:
Close Call [Rilo Kiley]
What song will you play when you're in heaven?:
I'm Just A Girl [Deana Carter]
-
what song makes you feel....
Happy:
Three Mc's and One DJ [Beatie Boys]
Sad:
Bring Me Down [Miranda Lambert]
Sexy:
You're the One [Sugarcult]
Angry:
Hotel Roosvelt [augustana]
Jealous:
Not Ready To Make Nice [Dixie Chicks]
Flirty:
Far Hãr lãrt mig [laleh]
Evil:
Why They call it falling [Lee Ann Womack]
Innocent:
Tortured, tangled hearts [dixie chicks]
Beautiful:
Believe [Chemical brothers]
What song makes you feel like you can fly?:
Through with you [maroon 5]
What song makes you cry?:
Street Dreams [Nas]
What song makes you feel like dancing?:
What About Georgia? [Miranda lambert]
What song makes you feel like being emo?:
Slumber [Bad Religion]
What song makes you feel like a donut?:
like a drug i never did before [joey ramone]
What song reminds you of your childhood?:
If you need the morning [La rocca]
What song reminds you that life sucks?:
D'evils [Jay-z ft. snoop]
What song makes you eat compulsivly?:
Hodestups [urokkelig]
What song makes you nervous?:
Can't knock the hustle [jay-z]
What song makes you need to pee?:
Do what you do [martina mcbride]
-
This song describes...
Yourself:
eldvakt [lars winnerbãck]
Your mom:
Beautiful Collision [Bic Runga]
Your dad:
Ballerina [Leona neass]
Your best friend:
Hur Andra mãnniskor bor [Raymond och maria]
Your stalker:
The Storm [Garth Brooks]
Your school:
I dare you [SheDAISY]
Your life:
You said Something [PJ Harvey]
Your death:
Las De La Intuicion [Shakira]
Your attitude towards life:
Fallen [Sarah McLachlan]
-
What should they have played when you were born?:
The Life and Death of Mr.Badmouth [PJ Harvey]
What song will people play at your funeral?:
Why should I be Sad [britney Spears]
What song will you play at your wedding?:
Just Flesh [Turbonegro]
What song will you play at your 50'th birthday party?:
Wake Up Exhausted [Teigan and Sara]
-
If you get your dream life...
What song will you dance to when you win the lottery?:
Yule Shoot Out Your Eyes [fall Out Boy]
What song will you play when you get your dream job?:
Tonight [Tv on the Radio]
What song will you play when you discover your own island?:
Somebody gotta do it [The roots]
What song will you play when you rule the world?:
Close Call [Rilo Kiley]
What song will you play when you're in heaven?:
I'm Just A Girl [Deana Carter]
-
what song makes you feel....
Happy:
Three Mc's and One DJ [Beatie Boys]
Sad:
Bring Me Down [Miranda Lambert]
Sexy:
You're the One [Sugarcult]
Angry:
Hotel Roosvelt [augustana]
Jealous:
Not Ready To Make Nice [Dixie Chicks]
Flirty:
Far Hãr lãrt mig [laleh]
Evil:
Why They call it falling [Lee Ann Womack]
Innocent:
Tortured, tangled hearts [dixie chicks]
Beautiful:
Believe [Chemical brothers]
What song makes you feel like you can fly?:
Through with you [maroon 5]
What song makes you cry?:
Street Dreams [Nas]
What song makes you feel like dancing?:
What About Georgia? [Miranda lambert]
What song makes you feel like being emo?:
Slumber [Bad Religion]
What song makes you feel like a donut?:
like a drug i never did before [joey ramone]
What song reminds you of your childhood?:
If you need the morning [La rocca]
What song reminds you that life sucks?:
D'evils [Jay-z ft. snoop]
What song makes you eat compulsivly?:
Hodestups [urokkelig]
What song makes you nervous?:
Can't knock the hustle [jay-z]
What song makes you need to pee?:
Do what you do [martina mcbride]
-
This song describes...
Yourself:
eldvakt [lars winnerbãck]
Your mom:
Beautiful Collision [Bic Runga]
Your dad:
Ballerina [Leona neass]
Your best friend:
Hur Andra mãnniskor bor [Raymond och maria]
Your stalker:
The Storm [Garth Brooks]
Your school:
I dare you [SheDAISY]
Your life:
You said Something [PJ Harvey]
Your death:
Las De La Intuicion [Shakira]
Your attitude towards life:
Fallen [Sarah McLachlan]
iPod Shuffel
IF Some one asks; 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
It Takes More (Bloody Mix) [Ms.Dynamite)
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Fornuft [evig poesi]
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
vem vet? [lisa ekdhal]
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Talk To Me [Heather Nova]
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Brooklyns Finest [Jay-z]
WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Too Experienced [ms.dynamite]
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Don't Make Me Come To Vegas [Tori Amos]
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
It's Only Love [heather nova] (LOL, only a parent can love this deviant?)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Regnvær [karpe diem]
WHAT IS 2 + 2?
TSongs With a Mission [the sounds]
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The Great Unknown [Sara Evans]
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Someday [DobbelMono]
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
DOA [Foo Fighters]
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
It Takes One To Know One [The Donnas]
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Exuse Me Mr. [No Doubt]
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The Mexiacan [babe ruth]
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Loving Arms [dixie Chicks]
My paper Heart [All-American Rejects]
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Fools Like me [Vanessa carlton]
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Hold-on [KT Tunstall]
WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Answers (live) [Sarah McLachlan]
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Man With A Mission [Bad Religion]
It Takes More (Bloody Mix) [Ms.Dynamite)
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Fornuft [evig poesi]
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
vem vet? [lisa ekdhal]
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Talk To Me [Heather Nova]
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Brooklyns Finest [Jay-z]
WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Too Experienced [ms.dynamite]
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Don't Make Me Come To Vegas [Tori Amos]
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
It's Only Love [heather nova] (LOL, only a parent can love this deviant?)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Regnvær [karpe diem]
WHAT IS 2 + 2?
TSongs With a Mission [the sounds]
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The Great Unknown [Sara Evans]
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Someday [DobbelMono]
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
DOA [Foo Fighters]
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
It Takes One To Know One [The Donnas]
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Exuse Me Mr. [No Doubt]
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The Mexiacan [babe ruth]
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Loving Arms [dixie Chicks]
My paper Heart [All-American Rejects]
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Fools Like me [Vanessa carlton]
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Hold-on [KT Tunstall]
WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Answers (live) [Sarah McLachlan]
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Man With A Mission [Bad Religion]
iTunes on shuffel
'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
On
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Listening For The Weather (Bic Runga)
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Bonafid Lovin' (Chromeo)
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Painters (jewel)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
If She Only Knew (Michelle Branch)
WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Herreavdelingen
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Hold Me Through The Night (Beth Hart)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
We could be (Sue Jin)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
America (Jewel)
WHAT IS 2 + 2?
That's How Love Moves
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Sarah's Dream (sarah ?)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Recognition (Susie Suh)
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Pain for Pleasure (Sum 41)
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Dancing With angels (shedaisy)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Aktiv Dødshjelp (smart 9000 og definite)
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Fragile Heart (jewel)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Compitin d'un autre ètè: L'aprés midi
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Tragic Kingdom (No doubt)
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
My Paper Heart (all american rejects)
WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Kerosene
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Stay Cool (the Roots)
On
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Listening For The Weather (Bic Runga)
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Bonafid Lovin' (Chromeo)
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Painters (jewel)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
If She Only Knew (Michelle Branch)
WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Herreavdelingen
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Hold Me Through The Night (Beth Hart)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
We could be (Sue Jin)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
America (Jewel)
WHAT IS 2 + 2?
That's How Love Moves
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Sarah's Dream (sarah ?)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Recognition (Susie Suh)
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Pain for Pleasure (Sum 41)
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Dancing With angels (shedaisy)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Aktiv Dødshjelp (smart 9000 og definite)
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Fragile Heart (jewel)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Compitin d'un autre ètè: L'aprés midi
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Tragic Kingdom (No doubt)
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
My Paper Heart (all american rejects)
WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Kerosene
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Stay Cool (the Roots)
Monday, February 16, 2009
FINE.... i found a goodthing about snow!
I found a good thing about snow..... slide baby, slide. We took the kids at wok out to play in the snow today, i think the kids had fun... but the grown-ups.... we had a BLAST!!! OMG when we all sat in a row and had a couple of kids push us so that we could slide down the hill, it was hilarious, one of the kiddos sat in our way though.... and i think we spurted her with snow (in the face) but she just laughed.... thankfully.
peace out!
peace out!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
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