first snow of the season

You wiped my tears, then walked away
as if it never mattered

how unbearably loud
your footsteps were
each time they hit the tarmac

i woke up this morning
naked, scared and alone
the sun was shining
on the white blanket of death
outside my window

a heavy reminder of childhood innocence
when the world was small and safe
and that horrible thing called responsibility did not yet exist.

the first snow of the season
used to be a relief
it used to fill the inside of my ribcage
with pure joy

now it's a sign of how all things eventually end
and the mere sight of it
fills me up with a hollowed out emotion
that pours out of my skin

i imagine it is what grief would smell like
if grief had a scent.
-GH.